The Future

As many of you know, I have spent what seems like the past year in prayer, asking for clarity and wisdom in making a decision. At the same time, I solicited advice from various people whose opinions I valued and trusted. But most importantly, I always asked God to show me his will and I always reminded myself that my purpose on Earth is not to make a name for myself, but to do things in His name. What you may not know is how I ended up here for a second time back in 2010 - it was only by the grace of God. He worked everything out in his time (which as it turned out was six weeks!) and I found myself with a job, a place to live, and a buyer for my car within four days! I had been praying that God would make it that easy for me this go round and that's just what happened today!

There's the saying, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true. Well, this can also be applied to prayer. I had been praying and praying, especially over these last two weeks for God to reveal his plan to me for the future. And did he ever!!!! He hit me with a knockout punch this morning at 9:30. It was not at all what I expected, but I got my answer....

I left Louisville leaning towards the ideal of returning at the end of the summer. Over the break, I talked to my parents about my financial situation and the student loans I've been racking up over here over the past two years, not to even mention the fact that I'm still trying to pay off my trip from 2008 when I was here for the first time. I know many of you joke around and say I'm over here living it up, but if you only knew!!!! I'm definitely not here for the money! In fact, the reason why I have to teach ten private English lessons throughout the week is so I can have spending money! But I wouldn't trade this for anything!!!! Anyways, I decided that it would be in my best interest to return to the states to start getting my life together financially and professionally! I came to the harsh realization that realistically I would not be able to support myself financially by living over here after you factor in loan payments, rent, plane tickets, and food. In Louisville I have the option of living with my parents until I get back on my feet and finding a job that pays a lot more. I know you teachers over there complain about your salary - first year teachers make roughly 44% more than teachers here!

Of course, that all changed as soon as I arrived back to Madrid and got around my co-workers, my students, and friends. I've said it a million times, I have the best job anyone could ask for and feel beyond blessed to have it. Last year, my boss told me that they wanted me to stay and we looked into the process of getting my Spanish certification to be an English Teacher and what steps we needed to take to get me on an indefinite work permit, since I'm currently in the country on a student visa. Right before Christmas break, we contacted an attorney-like person who specializes in helping foreigners obtain work permits. Today we called him and he gave us the sad news that it would be virtually impossible for me to get a work permit. Spain has an unemployment rate of 22% and the government would have to approve my work contract. Chances of that happening are less than slim, because there are Spaniards who can teach English and job preference is given to them. My bosses at work are desperately trying to figure something out, but I know this is the final answer I was waiting on.

I am extremely sad and upset about this - Madrid has been my home for almost two years. I've made lasting relationships with amazing people and I hate to leave them all behind. I've really evolved into a different person since being here - a change even I myself didn't see coming. I'm even more upset because this is not the answer I wanted to receive and it's hit me hard. I've already shed countless tears in the past 24 hours and there will be plenty more in the coming months. (Cue the waterworks.) However, through all of this I am constantly reminding myself at how blessed I am to have had an opportunity like this! I mean, how many people can say they followed their dreams and lived their life to the fullest for two amazing years? Not many. On top of that, I did it in ANOTHER COUNTRY. I will be walking away from this experience with incredible memories. At the same time, I have a fear that I will never have another experience like this again. That, along with not knowing exactly what the future holds for me is a bit scary. The good news is I have been in contact with various people and think there are several job opportunities for me in Louisville. The problem is they're all in different fields and vary from education, to politics, to the corporate world. Soon it will be time to make another decision!

I'm not sure when I'll be leaving - it all depends on when my residency card expires. My family is coming over in May for my long-awaited graduation. They'll be bringing extra suitcases to help me move things back. I can send winter clothes and books with them, along with any other thing I find. (I've realized that I've accumulated lots of things!) I also plan on doing some traveling before I leave. Next month I'm going to Brussels with my European Union politics class from school. I'd like to travel during Holy Week, which is the first week in April. My best friend from 1st grade just arrived in London today for an internship, so maybe I can squeeze a trip there to see her too! I am in the beginning stages of planning trips for July and August, but I won't have a lot of information until at least next week, so I'm not going to mention those.

Throughout all of this, I'm trying my best to stay positive. Please continue to think of me and pray. This is going to be a hard transition for not only me, but for my family, especially my parents. Living with them after being gone for two years is going to be....Although this isn't what I was planning on, I understand this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Thank you all for everything!
Sarah

Back in the city

Christmas vacation went by extremely too fast. I had a great time being with my family and took the time to rejuvenate myself. I had such a tough semester, I was ready to do absolutely nothing for two weeks. Last semester ended well for me - to be honest, it was my best semester since middle school! I ended up with a 3.8 for the semester. God is good!

I arrived back to Madrid on Monday morning around 7 am. I dropped my suitcase off at work and went straight to work. Thankfully, classes at school didn't start until Wednesday, so I had two half-days to re-acclimate myself to the time change, although after almost a week, my body is still struggling to wake up when my alarm goes off at 7:30 am. Two weeks of sleeping in is a hard thing to break! I think I'm going to really like my classes this semester. I am taking Methods of Political Science, International Relations Theory and Practice, Politics of the European Union, Hispanic Literature in the US, and a Theology course about Jerusalem and how it's a city of three different faiths. (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.) They're going to make for a challenging, yet fun semester! The highlight of this semester (minus graduation, of course!) is going to be my trip to Brussels. I'll be leaving in about six weeks and am really getting excited about the trip!

I'm currently deciding if I'm going to stay another year in Madrid or return to the US. This is the hardest decision I've had to date and it's literally breaking my heart. But I have complete faith that I will make the right decision. See my previous blog on how you can help by praying for me!

That's all for now. I'm finally turning it. It's been a long, tiring week!

Ciao,
Sarah

Prayer

Dear Friends,

I'm finding myself at a crossroad and I am in the midst of praying that God will show me the way. As most of you know, I have been living in Madrid, Spain for almost two years now. I'll be graduating in May from Saint Louis University Madrid with degrees in Political Science/International Relations and Spanish. I'm now faced with the task of deciding where God wants me to be next. I've been anticipating this decision for a year now. I know there is power in prayer - do you mind taking a moment to pray that God will reveal himself to me and also pray that I will use wisdom in making my decision?

Love,
Sarah

Older and Wiser

I'm cringing because I haven't written any entry in over two months and so much has happened. So, I guess I'll just start with the most recent....

Monday was by 26th birthday. I keep asking myself where did the time go? It just seems like yesterday that I was a little girl with round glasses, sitting in Kindergarten. And now here I am, teaching five year olds English! It's amazing. But I also am in constant awe of how blessed I've been and how many opportunities I've been given. This year's birthday was also a time for me to realize how much I'm loved. Over this past year, I've lost relationships with lots of people, including former close friends. It really hit me when I didn't hear from a few of them on my birthday. But this year I had new(er) friends who were there and made me feel special on my day! I have great co-workers and friends from the university that helped me celebrate my birthday. I've come to a point in my life where I only surround myself with people who want to be around me. And the end result is that I have a great support system! It was one of the best ones that I can remember in years! My students also made my day - especially when my little first graders sand Happy Birthday to me in English! This past year has been full of learning experiences and everything has definitely made me wiser. (And a little older!)

It's been a rough semester. Part of the reason why I haven't blogged is because I've had to extra time this semester. I took two Spanish literature classes and they killed me. Last weekend was the first weekend that I really didn't have homework, and I didn't know what to do with myself. All I've been doing this semester is reading, reading, and reading. A week and a half ago I had to turn in four papers within a week's time, so that was definitely challenging for me. But I survived! And here we are - I'll be in Louisville in just two short weeks and I cannot wait!

Right after I wrote my last entry, a co-worker passed away. She had lung cancer and no one really knew how bad off she was. It hit the entire school hard. Even though I only worked with her for a year, I took her death hard, because she was my first friend at the school last year and really made me feel welcome. It was even harder to deal with because the adults had to hold it together in front of the kids. We had a beautiful prayer ceremony in the patio with the entire school.

At the end of October, I had a training for work. It was the first New Teacher training for all of the Teresiana schools in Spain. Some of you are thinking that I'm really not a new teacher, but the schools want us to go during our second year, after we've spent a year in the school. I met people from all over the country and learned lots of things about Saint Teresa and San Enrique de Osso, who founded the Teresiana schools. Next year we'll have another training that will be a follow-up to this year's training.

A few weeks ago I had Thanksgiving. Since it's not celebrated here, I had to have it on a Saturday. I fixed a turkey and all the fixings and it was a big hit! It was another moment in which I realized how lucky I am to have such great friends on this side of the world.

A Pro-American Spaniard....say it isn´t so!!!!

One of my roommate´s just arrived back about an hour ago after spending the past week and a half at her parent´s home. Her father drove her here, so I was able to meet him. We all had an interesting conversation in the kitchen about America and Europe. Her father was the first person in Europe I´ve met that was so pro-American. At first he was talking about the Spanish way of life and said that Europe and Spain are very antiquated and aging. He pointed out that Spain is a "country" with autonomous communities, yet no one is united. He referenced the fact that if you visit America, everyone has a high sense of patriotism and nationalism, which I´ve never disagreed with. He used the example that if you pull out a Spanish flag in the northeastern community of Catalunya (Barcelona), people would get rid of it or even burn it. He pointed out that this lack of unity in Spain has hindered it from growing over the years. He went on to say that America is going to pull the world out of this financial crisis and that we´ve always been the one constant country over the past two hundred years.

It took me aback to hear a European, and especially a Spaniard speak so highly of the USA. 

Grad Schools and the GRE

*Let me give the disclaimer that the information I am writing about does not mean I am moving back to the states next summer. I'm just exploring my options*

Work and school are in full swing, yet I have somehow found a way to make myself work even harder. I'm currently in the process of shopping for grad schools. Well, let me rephrase. I've already narrowed down my list of grad schools, now comes the fun part of filling out applications, writing essays, etc. Oh, and not to mention studying for the GRE.

All of this came about very sudden. Part of it is that I'm worried about not having a job next year. This week it's been in the news that over 3,000 teachers in Madrid alone are unemployed (and receiving benefits - this is why it was newsworthy.) I'm a little nervous that the Ministry of Education won't give my school permission to "hire" me next year. I mean, why would they let an American take a job away from a Spaniard? Anyways, I need to have a contingency plan. Well, it started out as a contingency plan....

This past week, I've been seriously considering graduate programs. I've been looking at jobs online, such as working for the UN or the Department of State and most of the require a master's degree in political science, international relations, etc. A lot of them also require a second foreign language, which I'm not worried about. So, here we are.

I've narrowed my list down to American, Georgetown, GWU, UK, and UL. The first three are my top choices - they're in the top ten programs in the country, plus their location in DC is an obvious plus. The downside is the cost. They're all private universities, with tuition out of this world. Speaking of which, today I was talking to a co-worker and he told me he paid 5,000 euros for his master's program. I would kill for that. When I told him how much I pay per semester, he couldn't believe it. I'd seriously consider studying in Spain if tuition is that much cheaper. This is where UK and UL come into play because of their in-state tuition. Although I'd only be able to major in Public Policy or Public Administration, the financial picture is a key part. Plus, my political science professor told me that either one of the degrees would be completely fine for the type of work I'm thinking about going into. However, I've also realized that it is urgent that I start learning French. As in last month.

Needless to say, I'm going to be working on all of this, on top of my regular homework and lesson planning. I'm also taking the GRE on December 27th. Just in time to send in the scores by the January 15th deadline. I'm already stressed out thinking about this. And then I freak out when I remember that it's almost October!

Last week I said I needed to pray about everything and this week has been amazing for me. Before I left Louisville, I stopped by Border's and picked up a devotion book by Sarah Young, that also happened to be 40% off. Before I came back here, I vowed to do a better job of daily devotion and prayer. It has payed off already. It blows my mind how right on these devotions are. Every day when I think about a problem or stress about something, the devotion is right there to calm me down. God is speaking to me directly through these devotions. It gives me goosebumps when I think about it, because I know that he knows what my thoughts are each day. Had it just happened one day, I would have said that it was a coincidence. But four days in a row? Impossible! Monday's devotion told me my mind is in the midst of a power/control struggle which is absolutely true. Tuesday's directed me to see things from God's perspective and to not be upset if something doesn't go my way. (I took this as confirmation that if I don't get to stay here next year, everything will be okay.) Wednesday instructed me to not rush the process, but instead give everything to God and wait. And yesterday's devotion jumped out at me because the first line said Trust Me and refuse to worry. I've been blown away!

So at this point, that's what I'm doing. Sitting and waiting. And praying. A LOT I hope you will pray for me as well! 

Year 2 is in full swing!

Well this is embarrassing. I've been back in Madrid for almost three weeks now and this is my first "official" blog of year 2. I hope you got a kick out of the last post that commented on the food my students were going to be eating this month. I've alerted the authorities and they are fully aware and saddened that the kids will be eating grilled breast....

This week was our first week of school and honestly, it felt to be back. I was really happy to see my students, parents, and grandparents. Lots of hugs and happy faces all around :) This school year my role has changed a little bit. I'm teaching twenty hours per week, but I feel as though I'm "moving up the English Teacher ladder" as my Mom puts it. I teach five hours to a 1st Grade class. They're part of the bilingual program, so I speak to them only in English. It's definitely a challenge because they're so young, but I can already see an improvement after one week! I then teach three hours to a 3rd Grade class. With the 1st Grade class and then during one hour of the 3rd Grade class, I'm co-teaching with another teacher. My principal paired me with her so I can help her improve her English. It's also a way for me to actually teach the curriculum, as Spanish regulations make it difficult for myself and the other native speaker to teach. We're both still working on getting fully "certified". I then have eight hours with various 3rd-6th grade class, teaching conversational English. This year some things have changed, so I won't be teaching English to the other 1st and 2nd grade classes, because they have so many hours of English already. BUT, I am going to start giving "apoyo", which means support four hours a week to students in the 1st and 2nd grades who are going to be identified as struggling in English. I'm really excited about my new position(s) and love that I'm doing several different things.

Classes are also in full swing at the university. My life is pretty much consumed by reading 19th century Spanish novels and Latin American testimony books. Somewhere and somehow, I find time to read for my Political Communications, Latin American Philosophy, and Theology.

I'm also in the midst of making some huge decisions, namely what I'm going to be doing next year. Yes, some of you are probably thinking to yourself that I just came back, so why am I already thinking that far ahead. I have to plan that far in advance due to a thing called Residency Visas and plane tickets. I'm exploring all options. I feel that I have several leads on jobs back in Louisville, but I would also find it hard to leave Spain. At this point I have no clue what I'm going to do, but I have complete faith in God to give me an answer in the next two months. I ask for your prayers as I go through this difficult, yet necessary decision-making process.